Saturday Report

Wil and I had fun yesterday at the bazaar with Carol. If we didn't have baby on the brain, we would have spent a lot more money. When we were tempted to buy something bright and shiny, we would go, "how often would I have to dust this thing?" how long would it take before the boys take out the table on which this pretty crystal bowl sit?" "where in our little tiny apartment can we find room for this gorgeous but enormous piece of furniture?" So we came home with two bottles of good red wine and very full stomach instead. Spicy food, check. Walking a lot, triple check. And all they accomplished was making both Wil and I really tired. And giving me tummy ache and even more swollen feet. We've tried every trick in the old wives' tale book and I can tell you that it's only making me more frustrated than not. Just like my midwife said, nothing progressive would happen unless my body was ready for it. And apparently it isn't quite yet. So now I just get to suffer random 2-hour contraction sessions.

Anyway, from the the department of keeping tab--I give you the latest installment of "Things I Saw and Heard as a Result of Carrying a Giant Belly During Our Outing":
1 "Lemme guess, two weeks overdue?"
3 mortified children
3 wide opened jaw drops
1 "Are you in pain?!?
Too numerous to count: "any day now, isn't it?" "you still have 10 days to go, really?!? "hang in there! (accompanied by sympathetic smiles)" "You're carrying sooo low." etc. Towards the end I was too busy stuffing my face to really notice all those pointing and giggling.

***IMPORTANT NOTE TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY: DO NOT, AND I MEAN DO NOT, CALL OR EMAIL TO ASK IF I WILL HAVE A BABY TODAY AS IF I WAS HOLDING IT HOSTAGE, ESPECIALLY IF YOUR LAST PHONE CALL OR EMAIL WITHIN THE LAST 24 HOURS CONTAINS THE EXACT SAME SENTENCE, UNLESS YOU ABSOLUTELY WANT TO BE YELLED AT--YET AGAIN. IF YOU WANT TO EVER SEE THE KID, YOU WILL NOT KEEP POKING ME WITH THAT ANNOYING STICK.*** When I say I'm moody, I mean it.