Sleep Training, Revisited

OH. GOD. I. WANT. TO. DIG. A. DEEP. HOLE. AND. LAY. QUIETLY. IN. IT. FOR. A. LONG. TIME.

Chase is just a couple of weeks shy of 4 months old, an apparent golden age for sleep training according to two pediatricians, one seasoned mother, and one sleep Nazi, whose books I've been reading in hopes of discovering some kind of deep dark secret about infant sleep or a quick way to poison myself in my sleep, if all else should fail. For the longest time, I prescribed to nursing on demand, rocking/cuddling to sleep, sharing the family bed, etc., and to a certain degree I still am. But after almost four sleepless months, I was literally losing my noodles. Don't get me wrong, I still think we have one of the easiest going babies, but the child does not like to sleep. There were strings of odd days where she would sleep for 5 hours at a stretch and my faith in mankind was promptly restored. But those days are far and few in between and lately she has taken up getting up every hour to eat, play, or just to say "hi, momma!" I know that my sheer exhaustion and eventual giving in to whatever she wants at whatever time it might be only exacerbate the situation. Last night was it, I told myself. I just couldn't stop crying, mostly out of sheer frustration and a lot out of being completely exhausted. But today was the day I actually stuck to a plan. The fact that we have A plan in itself is quite impressive. All the books I read couldn't have been more different. The only thing they seem to agree on is that earlier bedtime is best, but how to go about achieving the said bedtime and making the baby stay asleep are another story. I wouldn't bore you with the rest of our unfortunate details, but I really have tried them all. However painful the process may be, I kinda do see the light at the end of the tunnel. At the end of the day that Chase cries the most, the loudest, and with the most piercing screams that break my heart just so, in her life, my darling baby fell asleep in her own bed without as much as a fuss. I don't know if what we've been doing all day is actually starting to work or it's just sheer dumb luck. Whatever it is, I'll take it. Tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully Chase will commit to memory during her REM sleep good sleeping habits she has learned today. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, MAKE IT WORK, SLEEP GOD. I will stop torturing small animals and other people's children. Really, I promise.

Note to Mateo: read all those baby sleep books now before your new baby girl makes Summer Op seem like a day at a spa.

To Mara: thanks for the comment and we miss you and Sampson dearly. Bruta and Paddy wagged their tails furiously when I mentioned Sampson's name today. I see many happy days at the park... Come home soon!