My boss at the video store asked me to come back for a bit to fill in for her while she's busy moving. A lot of my customers apparently didn't know that I was pregnant before I stopped working (I was normally behind a counter or a really chunky computer monitor), so I'm getting a lot of interesting comments as greetings. Most of the time they are kind and tactful about my sizable gain. Naturally, there are a few that just have to say something that turns me rather unpleasant rather quickly. Example:
After staring at me and my stomach for 30 seconds straight, he said something like this:
Clueless Guy#1: It's a boy, isn't it?
Me: Er, not really, sir. We're having a girl.
Clueless Guy#1, still staring at my midsection: Really? They say that if your stomach is perfectly round, then you are having a boy, as suppose to the football-shaped one, which is supposed to be a girl. My wife had one of each and it really worked. And you stomach looks pretty round.
Me: Well, I can't really tell you what it looks like from here, but I can tell you what it feels like.
Clueless Guy#1: Oh, I KNOW what it feels like.
Me: Do you now, sir?
Clueless Guy#2: You're due any day now, aren't you?
Me: No, sir, I'm only 27 weeks and fat.
Clueless Girl is on the heavy side. She has 2 small children with her and English is obviously not her first language.
Clueless Girl: How much longer do you have?
Me: I'm just finishing up my second trimester, so a couple more to go.
Clueless Girl, after taking a long pause to have a proper stare and being judgmental: Wow. WOW!
I dislike these people very much. The first couple of times were funny. Now I call to scream at my husband because I'm not supposed to scream at customers. Poor Wil. I know it must get tiring having to constantly assure his moody wife that she's not THAT big. I can't believe I'm growing out of my maternity clothes already. The next customer that ticks me off about extra poundage will be charged astronomical late fee, even if their movies are back on time.
Happy 26th Valentines Day!
5 months ago
Oh, girl. I feel your pain. Keep these little comments handy in the baby book. They're funny to look at later, I promise.
ReplyDeleteMy administrative assistant while we're at lunch: "how far along are you again?
ME: Four months.
HER: Seriously? Are you sure? I thought you were at least five-and-a-half or six months along.
ME: Nope, I'm pretty sure.
HER: WOW!!! Hang on (she beckons the waitress) How far along do you think she is?
ME: (thinking, are you kidding me? You're so fired)
Poor-Caught-off-Guard Waitress: Um - you're pregnant?
ME: Right answer, sweetie, right answer. And, here's your tip.