On Being Neurotic and Enjoying MRE

So I am having an off day. I understand some of you poor souls (namely Mr. Steinhauer, my long-suffering college roommate Sofi, and #2), who have had the misfortune of enduring my wrath during PMSing times, will say that it is a blessing that I am home alone today. Sleep deprivation (insomnia+barking Bucky = browsing YouTube for funny animal videos at ungodly hours), stress, and hormones finally got the best of me and I just lose it. After being less than nice to my husband on the phone (3 times!), I decide to go to sleep so I would no longer carelessly harm the innocents. It doesn't work as well as I'd hoped, because the yard crew keeps waking me up with some kind of earth shattering machine right outside my bedroom window. But I manage to get a few minutes of total bliss that is REM sleep and rise a much better human being. However, I choose to boycott the dog walk and clearing out the attic, as being dragged around by 3 unruly mutts and spending another freaking hot day in a dusty den might reverse the benefits of rest and make me permanently loony (some will also say that ship has already sailed).

And I wake up starving. Since I start emptying out the pantry a tad too early, the contents of my food holding only include a box of raisins, a container of rancid peanuts, a can of straw mushrooms, a can of tuna, a can of stewed tomatoes, and a few packages of pasta. I'm sure there are a few more things in there but it only gets more depressing to list since I finished off the last of cereal and ramen noodles yesterday. None of these nutritious varieties strike my fancy at the moment, but from the corner of my eye something peaks my interest. A while ago, My Dearest brought home a package of MRE (Meal Ready to Eat) for me to try. I tried an extra packet of crackers that he brought along and said no, thank you, to the rest. I couldn't believe Wil had to eat this stuff for 9 months 3 times a day during his first deployment in the middle east before they could set up a functional kitchen. Anyway, desperate times call for desperate measures and I am not about to get out of my pjs for some fast food. So I open Menu No. 14: Vegetable Manicotti with an excited curiosity of a food scientist. I cheat and stick the thing on a real plate and microwave it a bit. The tomato sauce retains its brilliant red color, which unfortunately sharply contrast with the pasty green consistency that is known in the Armed Forces as "filling". Honestly, I wouldn't think twice about eating this stuff if I'm camping for a couple of days (hasn't happened since the days of girl scout), back in college and out of ramen noodles (they are a dollar a dozen, why shouldn't we be stocked up?), really really drunk and need cushion for alcohol (that's why we really need ramen), and/or with my eyes close. It is surprisingly edible! Not to say that we should subject our brave men and women to these things for months (how many different ones are there, Honey?), however. I must say that it's been a while since 30% of my sodium intake comes from such a small portion. Being a pound cake aficionado, I have to try the vanilla one that is included in the meal. Again, surprisingly palatable! A touch on the dry side but, considering that many things that are made in the same year have been dead a while already, is perfectly acceptable. I'm saving pineapple tidbits for my 3 A.M. snack session and will report back later.