It's Alive!

I'm back! Sorry for the delayed post. We've been having problems with the internet connection on and off this past week. I shall summerize my life for you in easy-to-read bullet points:

*Thanksgiving was fun. Yes, Ralph, you were right and I didn't cook. We were invited to our dear friend Ashley's house. Ash was cooking for 30 and we gladly became a drop in her misery bucket. Ashley deserved to be put in Thanksgiving Hall of Fame for opening up her home to and feeding 30 very young and very drunk soldiers, who just came back from a month long snowy and icey field excercise. I should name a star after this brave and slightly crazy woman.

*My visit to the health clinic to see why I couldn't breathe yielded a surprising result. After a couple of hours of poking and proding, my kind doctor sat me down and gave me a Latin name for some condition I supposedly had that caused my inner ear to inflame and lightheadedness. He went on to give me the most serious and sincere look before saying, "basically, Uma, you have a cold." No, seriously. As I was trying to grasp how I could have missed the common cold symptoms of feeling like having a chunky elephant on my chest with its mean trunk around my neck choking the life out of me after practicing having a cold for nearly 30 years, my sweet dear doctor "prescribed" me a saline nasal spray. No, seriously. I'm going to keep saying that for a while. Here I was at home wheezing for air and having heart palpitation. A COLD?!? What's next? Paper cuts? The Seed is kicking my lungs around like they are soccer balls. He is also performing his own version of "Lord of the Dance" on my sciatic nerve, which causes me to wobble like I had been riding a stubborn donkey bareback. When he comes out, I'm going to have farty Paddy sleep with him in his room. Revenge is sweet.

*Have I mentioned I have the most endearing husband? One day I'm going to put out a book of his greatest, pregnancy related one-liners and caring behavior. Behold the examples:

"I'm never going to leave you, Baby, especially now that your boobs are huge." This was in response to my waking up in the middle of the night and telling him about my nightmare of his leaving a very pregnant me for a skinny supermodel. And he wasn't even fully awake when he concocted that one up.

"This is my Silverback wife, Uma."--Wil's introducing me to our prenatal group. It's not my fault I'm getting hairy.

"HOLY COW!!!"--As he walked in on me just stepping out of the shower.

"How about this one?"--Holding up a babydoll lingerie, which looked a lot like a small hand towel with satin ties and straps. He was "helping" me find something to wear to a water aerobic class after my frantic search failed to yield something that did not cut off circulation.

...etc,...

What would I do if he wasn't around to make me laugh? The Greatest Husband. Ever. Speaking of which, keep My Love in your thoughts today, please, as he will be going through discogram at about 10:00 a.m. I plan on stuffing him with chicken and dumpling and a lot of pumpkin pie to numb his pain after the procedure. Keeping Paddy from trying to cuddle with his papa will be the greatest challenge.

*I'm using Wil's WinTel machine as we no longer have free wireless connection and my gorgeous MacBook Pro just sits on the nightstand sound asleep. Don't let me start on the wonder that is Deutsche Telekom. I'm trying to figure out how to upload my pictures onto this hunk of metal. Just take my word for it for now, I am enormous.