Chase is doing a bit better today. She's still pretty fussy and has no appetite but is sleeping much better. Ahhh...sleep. She was starting to sleep through the night (from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m.) just before Christmas, then we had to move. With all the moving crazies and appointments, her schedule was all jacked up and we were back up to feeding once a night again. When we all settled in at our new house, Chaster Baby started to sleep through the night once more and I was besides myself. And then she got sick. Took another week to recover and get back to her old routine. I really thought we were back on the upswing of things as my darling baby was making leaps and bounds in the developmental progress. Then there was the second ER visit. This one really took a lot out of her and she's still pretty tired and not quite her happy self. I took her out walking briefly yesterday because being outside and getting to see things like horses (we have a couple that live behind our house), trees, and cooing German grandmas seemed to really lift her spirit.
Obviously, not so yesterday. And in case you are wondering, I was wearing Chase in our Ergo and had my ski jacket over the both of us. We were very warm. The old German folks probably don't see this much as they often stare and stare at us during our walk. No, Ma'am, I didn't eat my baby and left her head to hang between my boobs. Anyway, back to my point (I do have one, really). I just realized today that what happened this past month was really not an exception. This is our life. We'll move again, her schedule will get messed up, and, unfortunately despite my best effort, she will get sick again. I know this sounds really dumb but I really couldn't see pass what was happening right in front of me. I told Wil today that, yes, it sucked to be a single-income family, but I could never imagine getting a job that I would never love as much as being home with my precious baby and having to pay someone to watch her grow up. It would kill me. I know the day will come that having me back at work will be financially wise for us, but right now I will take getting up every hour to cuddle a feverish child and rocking her to sleep in my arms over moolah EVERY TIME. That's how much I love you, Kid.
