While You Were Sleeping

Wouldn't you know that the next update will be coming from the wee hour of the morning? Pregnancy has turned me into a full blown insomniac and it really bothers me that the only way that I can sleep through the night is with the help of drugs like Benedryl or Phenergan that knocks me out for 16 hours and leaves me incredibly groggy afterward (FYI: I had to take Phenergan after three days of bad all-day sickness. I have no idea if it actually helps with my nausea because I am normally too busy sleeping). I'm going to discuss it with my midwife, but it's apparently a common symptom. Sigh.

My friend Ariel asks me what I do at night when I'm not sleeping. Good question, Ariel! Well, as a loyal fan of Dave Letterman, I shall give you my top 10 list of "Things I Do When You People are Asleep."

10. I take care of nature call. A lot. I was 2" wide before getting knocked up, so growing room is limited. Baby 1, Bladder 0.
9. I eat. As soon as I open my eyes, my stomach demands food. I just had a bowl of warm chicken soup with rice. Normally I'd have cereal first, but ramen noodles work wonders to stop the "counter flow" action. And I have been slightly obsessed with frozen cubed mangoes lately. It's like eating ice cream without a side of guilt. Yum.
8. I watch stuff on YouTube. We don't have cable here and I can't watch my favorite shows online because of the location. Thank goodness for YouTube. So far, Gossip Girl is my current season's guilty pleasure. It's like reliving my high school experience with a lot more money, booze, boys, awesome clothes, and really long legs in short skirts. Ok, so it's nothing like my high school, but it's still way fun.
7. I dream of sleeping. Pretty self-explanatory? Good times, good times.
6. I annoy my dogs. Because they can sleep through hurricanes and I'm slightly envious. Nothing is cuter than sleeping puppies, so I sometimes wake them up to tell them. Their normal response to my smothering them at 2 a.m. is a grunt that is followed by migration to the couch. Ungrateful mutts. I just want a hug.
5. I read stuff on the internet. Lots of news, time.com, nytimes.com, baby stuff, my peep's blogs, and gossip sites, etc. I read the interesting stuff first in hope that the boring stuff at the end will put me to sleep. Has not worked out so far, since I know far more about Britney Spears' vagina than anyone really should.
4. I update my blog. At least one good thing comes out of insomnia. Now you'd better enjoy my blood, sweat, and tears!
3. I talk to Wil's sleeping head. I offered to go be awake in the living room, but Wil asked me to stay in bed with him. Supposedly, a warm body, even an awake one, in bed keeps him asleep. Thankfully, he has not found Paddy to be a fine substitute. Since I'm sitting up next to this sleeping man for 4-6 hours a night, I feel compel to talk to him. The fun thing to do is to say random things to the back of his head and see if he remembers it in the morning. So far he remembers my apologizing to him for being a bad wife and a barfer.
2. I eat again. Because eyeball muscles and fingers also get tired and need to be fed after a long night of internet surfing.

*And my #1 "Thing I Do When You People are Asleep" is...*

1. I worship at the alter of Mark Bittman. For those of you who don't know, Mark Bittman is a food journalist for NY Times. His column is called "The Minimalist" and the man knows his way around the kitchen. He's not a trained chef but obviously is someone who loves to eat. His recipes are always simple (hence "The Minimalist") and contain a few quality ingredients that don't require fancy cooking method or much time. NY Times has a very well-designed website that also offers short video clips to accompany the featured stories. I was in food porn heaven when I found his "The Minimalist" video archive. Really looking forward to his PBS series of traveling and discovering new food in Europe with Gwyneth Paltrow. How cool is he!?! Mark Bittman, I want to grow up to be just like you. Oh, and the rest of the Dining & Wine section always has cool articles.

So now you know what I do all night. It's unfortunate that it's not more exciting.