Thinking Thursday

I have been pondering about another baby. There, I said it. I know, like, 3 posts ago, I said way later. It's a combination of things. For two days in a row, Wil asks Chase "do you want a little brother or a sister?" I pretended to ignore it, but I could hear myself going "WHADDD?!?!?" in my head. I'm beginning to melt every time I see little tiny babies, all wrapped up in a yard of fabric and looking mighty E.T. adorable. Probably because my baby is beginning to NOT looking like a baby anymore. Then two of my closest friends here just went and got themselves knocked up :P. I think there are very few things in life that can make pregnancy more tolerable and even possibly, gasp, FUN (!!!), and having dear girlfriends to go through it together is on the top of my short list. Are we ready? I dunno. With Chase, we knew we were and our timing was perfect. I craved a baby and she was the answer to my prayers. I want to have that same urge before heading down that road again, because when that sciatica kicks in, I'm going to need a good reason why I volunteer to be a human punching bag. Another tick mark for the "con" column, which might sound utterly crazy to some, is that I feel like I will be cheating on Chase. I can not express the love I have for this little Monkey enough, and I am just not very good at multitasking. Just ask Wil, I really can't type when he's talking to me. I don't know how to tend to a needy newborn and still meet the needs of my adventurous toddler through the fog of sheer exhaustion. It was a bad hormonal trip after Chase was born and I fear that there's a whole lot more at stake than my sanity this time around. But then again, I know what to expect and ask for help if needed. You see what's going on in my head now? My two remaining brain cells from college just keep shouting back and forth at each other.

"You can do it! Motherhood is a joy!"
"Are you insane?!? Remember how long it took you to stand up straight without crying?"
"That's why you should do it now. Wil's not going to deploy and able to help!"
"Ummm, he leaves at 5:30 A.M. Then you are home with FOUR kids!!!"

I clearly need more time to think.